An Unfiltered Mind of Thoughts - Happy Birthday to me!

April 13, 2020

For the very first time, I am writing a past year related blog entry in the following year, I guess as we grow up our writing styles do change; for the better or worse.

My 2019 was an amazing one albeit a few matters did upset me here and there, but hey -- 2020 is going to be so much better because I just simply know it already.

Sorry ah, typing this on 12th April close to midnight and we have yet to receive updates on how many new Covid19 cases are there today in Singapore. 

2019 reminded me of 2013, 2017 because I think those years I enjoyed myself thoroughly. 

Right after a dramatic year.

Remember when I said how even-numbered years weren't great? 

And let's begin!

It's 11:46PM now and what was supposed to be 2019 in review got dragged to the eve of my XX birthday, and presumably to the exact day.

Update at 11:49PM - went to read some leaked chats from Dr Julian about the recent defamation case shared/exposed on hardwarezone then to Facebook. Singaporeans ah!!!!!

Okay. Continue.

I waited many years for 2020's birthday celebration to happen and while I imagined it to be filled with lots of balloons, people, two-tier cakes and a fancy dessert table with me holding the mic to thank almost everyone in the room, it turned out the be a complete opposite.

Just me, myself and I and some sweet surprises over the span of the last week from my beloved friends.

Perhaps at this point of time, I wished that there could be some unforeseen surprises but aiya, now meeting friends can also get you jailed so better not.


And we are 7 minutes away..

Back to 2019.

So 2019 was quite a crazy year as I thought about my achievements and also the number of times I have seen my name on all sort of papers and the number of times I had to make a vow to speak the truth and nothing but the truth. 

I witnessed betrayals amongst what would the closest friends beside me would have done and found out truths about people that may have shocked me once or twice.

It made me realised that humans were more evil than what could be eviler out there (referencing to the Art of the Devil; thai horror)

Again, I was still looking around, finding, hoping, imagining..... only to perhaps find a few friends and establish a business relationship or transaction.

11:59PM. Counting down.

Perhaps this post may or may not have came across as any sense but as the clock struck 12 Fabro <3 appeared on my screen. Thank you.

*Plays Kenji Wu's New Track on Spotify* - eh he has a new track!!

Oh, wait... it's a remix of Elva's Wrong Person.

I sang this song in 2011 for the singing competition.. won 3rd. Cried after the song. Relatable.

Back to 2019.

As I thought that the love of my life may have then appeared, I realised it was such a toxic cycle over and over again that the same events happened here and then.

I heard noises behind me I thought that M would have come. Clearly, he didn't.

Then getting my life read possibly wasn't the best thing but it gives you a good heads up..

There wasn't any proper closure

There wasn't any proper apology

The law still pursued what would be the "truth" in a manner that would have hurt so many parties involved.

Maybe the reason why I couldn't close up 2019 in proper was that 2019 and 2020 would have been combined into a year. 4 months into the new year and the world has been declared in a pandemic state.

What a time to live in hor.

So how many of your graduations, weddings, important events had to be postponed?

I hope you had your fair share of glory and happiness made up to you.

What I hope for after this is that, 

I get to do the things I love, I walk out of this stage leaving the unhappy memories behind, and I always believe in my gut feeling and that I trust that what I want to accomplish can be done. 

Things I am thinking now...

- Craving for InTheBrickYard's OrhNee Cake
- Cheesecake cups
- Nougetelli pls come back to ntuc
- When to cook my salmon and otah

Perhaps what's filtered has always been here.

Reading along the lines..

A promise here though.

There's tons of things and content I owe to this very site, my travelouges and reviews.

In this CB period, I pledge to complete what's outstanding and watch my Netflix today on both series that I want to complete.

Find Yourself & Happy Old Year

After today, I'll be working towards (fuck I keep imagining M is coming and even heard fucking sparkles cb)

a better me.

Happy Birthday, Rachel.

On this day next year in 2022, you will reveal how old you are officially.

No more feeling ashamed or unsure.


Your unfiltered mind of thoughts.

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