18 Lessons I learnt in 2018

December 31, 2018


Time flies, and here I am, writing my Yearly Goodbye Series on the blog.

Just that this year, it's lesser in pictures - but you can view them here and here

2018 has been a pretty dramatic yet a year full of lessons to learn, I would say.

And here is why.


1. I learnt the importance of Procedures and Systems 

Without procedures and systems, there's only one thing you can expect to see: a big mess. 
That happens when you have been too carefree for the longest time in a different environment, but do not worry about being shocked in this "culture", there are only more pros than cons. 

Because a good set of Procedures and System can make people work properly, but people cannot work properly without it.


2. Freedom isn't Free

You have to pay a price for your freedom. 

A price can be the money you take home on a monthly basis, it can also be the support you get [or will not get] when you need it instantly. 

It can also be a lack of discipline, time management and planning skills.

So when you ask for it, be sure to know how to "pay" for it. Because when you really do, you get to enjoy the best out of "Freedom" 


3. I learnt the Art of Negotiation 

Never settle at the first offer. 

Never ask for lower and hoping it will get higher. 

Never compromise to the other party just because you think you are not qualified to do so. 

A deal is where both parties get to benefit, not just the one who holds the bargaining power.

4. I learnt the consequences of making a quick decision 

Your negotiation skills play a part here too, but the reason why you decide quickly (when you are usually indecisive) is that you got bribed emotionally. 

"You have so much potential" 

"You know you are so good in this"

"You know I will be putting in my heart and soul to guide you right?"

"You know you only have this chance to be the best version of yourself right?"

Stop falling for flowery words!!!


5. Closure is bullshit 

You do not need a god damn explanation from the person who has done you wrong or you have done wrong to. 

Simply move on. 

The more you want to close things up properly, the more you are torturing yourself with bits and pieces of the memories you had. 

Do not put yourself through the torture again.

Stop asking why did it happened, just close up the chapter and move on. 


6. I learnt that behind every action, there is a motive and purpose

Like Cause and Effect, but this time, think harder. 

"Why did he/she choose to say this set of words in front of me?"

"Why is he/she suddenly so nice to me?"

"Why did he/she perform this act of service before my eyes?"

No one is really 100% nice without expecting any form of returns. 

Really.

7. I learnt how to handle my emotions

Your emotions either make you or kill you.

There was this saying, that I heard many years ago. I do not exactly remember it but here's how kinda sounded like.

If you care for yourself, you are fine.
If you care for the world, you will be in tears.

Yourself refers to your own well-being. 

The World refers to all the other people and matters in your life. 

Your well-being is important. 

I decide when I want to cry, how long I want to cry and why should I cry. 

I will never cry just because my emotions could not be handled well, because this time, I handle them.

8. I learnt how to stand firm & how to say NO

"No."

Just try la

"No.."

Just try la, I promise it will be good!

Ok!  NO!

Standing firm on your decision is one thing. 

Not giving in to their endless persuasion is something. 

One NO can be a Maybe. 

Two NOs can be an almost-yes. 

Never be swayed easily. 

Your decision was made in the very first place. 

If you give in easily then why bother to make decisions since you are such an easy target?

9. I learnt that I do not need to live up to anyone's expectations 

"Why are you so cold"

"Why you never show enthusiasm in the things you do [at this stage]"

"Why do you not do this or that?" 

You simply become the expectation. 

There is no need to conform, just because someone (insignificant) made a comment on your reactions/behaviour. 

You need to differentiate if it's for their own good or for your own good.

If you were taught table manners today so that you can present yourself well when you dine in with others, that is for your own good.

If you were taught how to eat seductively in order to impress the guy who wants to see you in that manner over dinner, then it is for his good. 

I always believe that there is no right or wrong being too much or too little; if you do not like how I reacted, then Thank You, Next. 

10. I learnt that my happiness [still] matters a lot

If you feel uncomfortable, leave.
If it makes you feel unhappy, leave. 

"Whatever that makes you Happy" 

11. I learnt how to drop things immediately when it's not right 

Red Flags in a date?

Red Flags in a job?

Red Flags in a deal?

Is it too good to be true or is it just the start of my nightmare?

When it is not right, Drop and Go. (And never look back)

12. I learnt that the truth no longer matters 

What do you want to hear? The truth we fabricated to save lives and happiness from being destroyed or the real truth?

Does it really matter?

Why not just end things amicably and live our lives happily ever after.

Because the truth hurts. A lot.

13. I learnt that we can be destroyed easily on the internet [by people who care less about us]

He cared when you were exposed for your misdeeds on social media.

He cared when you got laughed for the things you do on social media.

All that caring has turned into this power of destroying someone's life overnight.

Yet "He" is also an insignificant person in your life.

At the end of the day.. when you get destroyed -- who wins?

The only way to win is to not let these people and their doings takeover your thoughts. 

Otherwise, you'll lose everything.

14. I learnt that indeed we are simply the average of the 5 people with whom we spend time the most

Surround yourself with negative people and you will be absorbing their negativity and start to act like them.

Surround yourself with fighters and hustlers and you will be fighting and hustling hard for your dreams too.

Your behaviour and actions tell a lot. 

This is why your parents warned you of bad company since young.

15. I learnt how to be comfortable with my body

Love yourself. Love your body. No one else will ever love it as much as you do, and even if they do, you will never believe it because you, yourself never believed in it before.


16. I learnt that promises were insignificant not unless you are of value to the person who made the promise 

The promise was made, when you were still who you were back then. 

Now, since you are no longer who you were, this promise does not exist.

17. I learnt that a leopard will never change its spots [again]  just like how a snake is still a snake when its skin sheds
How many times have you fallen for his tricks again?

"I promise I will change!"

*Proceeds to commit the same act the next day*

Take it with a pinch of salt. 

Time will tell over time, just not this time round (again)

18.  I learnt how to let go

When I freed myself of the things I couldn't let go, I was opening myself to bigger doors and opportunities. 

Better ones will come. 



And with that, it concludes the 18 Lessons I learnt in 2018. 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for still being here and I hope that you have an amazing countdown with your loved ones, here's to a fantastic 2019. 

With Love, Happiness, Wisdom and Health.












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