Relationships

September 04, 2014

Just my two cents towards relationships nowadays. So pardon my long babbling if you don't really like to read long blog posts. When I say it's long, I mean it and it. Ha.


Well a popular question would be ; ''What is the appropriate age to be in a relationship?' 

or in other words, what is the right age to be in a relationship. 

Is it 16? 18? 21? After studies? After work? During work? During studies? 

or

''When one is able to think for another'' - answer by one of my classmate.
''When you're ready''

The answer is .... 

No. 

Actually any age. We heard of the olden days where people get married at 12, gives birth at 13, 25 a grandma and so on. Although it might be an arranged wedding (majority in the past) it is still a relationship.

So our parents, or maybe I would say majority of teenager's parents would feel that you should get a boyfriend/girlfriend only when you have finished your studies, and you shouldn't when you are in pri sch/sec sch/JC because it will affect your studies. Well, it's a believe towards them, and a restriction by them. But still there are some who approves. 

So any age, but there's one more condition. 
Your mind, and heart. 

Be prepared. 
Why would I say this? 

Not everyone is mature at 12,13 or 14. Not everyone understands the meaning of LOVE at the first relationship. Is it just a boy saying I like you thru the phone and let's date? 

In order to know, and be ''mature'' about it, you must first get hurt. Only after you'll know. 
Know how to find the right person, a mature mind to think of your future actions, being responsible to yourself etc. While some people say it's automatic, yes it is but it will only be automatic known to your brain after things happen. Like you wouldn't know how sex is done after you heard people saying or seeing it yourself, right? Maybe to you just kissing and hugging can give birth to a baby but in actual fact it's not until one day you studied biology and everything is revealed. There is always something that happens, then it will automatically be in your head.. - the knowledge etc. 

So, only when you are sure you want to be in a relationship (not just bec any guy ask you) but you yourself think you are ready to handle all sorts of feelings, ready to grow up (yes it does makes you grow mentally) then be in. 

Yup!! So for that question is done. 

Next part is also another popular discussion now, and know what like ytd it was asked, taught in class lul.

Like the actions you do in a relationship or the types of reaction, aftermath of a ''relationship'' which I would say at that part of time, that party or I would say EITHER of the party has grown up, maturely or physically (hah) 

I have heard about many many many many many -- look at the amount of many. Stories, stuffs.

(The not so grown up/right/idk you choose a word/ way)

Situation  A

Boy meets girl, gets together. Starts to hold hands. Kisses on cheek. Hugging. Then after tried french kissing ( had their first kiss/smooch ) things started to go cray when they are alone in some idk where and boy starts to touch girl but girl doesn't retaliate much as she thinks ITS OK so boy continued with more and soon now later well idk maybe it hasn't reach that step YET. But things started to go another way, and they soon drifted and slowly broke up. Girl wasn't happy because she gave her first kiss to boy and boy touched her everywhere, sex .. and boy actually left?

Girl's reaction. 

Posts remarks about boy on social media. Tweeting indirectly about him. Cursing. More cursing. Telling people about his bad deeds. Calling him a molester, rapist, bastard, asshole etc.  Hating yourself because you are dirty etc. 

This situation could be handled in a better way. At least towards yourself. 

Well you shouldn't do all those stuffs mentioned above if you are very angry (you could have done it, but then stop it) . Because the more you care the more you'll be hurt and you will hate yourself for it. By doing those, you are actually reminding yourself everyday of those actions he done and you WILL never EVER move on. And who knows, he is already happy with some other girl? And you are here. Self pitying yourself. Telling the same things over and over again to your bff about the bad deeds he done. Wasting your time. 
I know it's isn't easy, but you have to TRY. Also, NEVER EVER hate yourself for the things you have done. 

'' Everyone has a moment of folly, thus everyone deserves another chance, to start over. Whether is it yourself or not. '' - ME. 

You were silly at THAT MOMENT, but you won't be forever. That incident should have made you grow instead. 

So, you should in fact slowly let go BUT DON'T FORGET and the day when you are finally happy and not thinking about it anymore, that's the best revenge you can ever give. 

Next. 

Situation B 

Girl meets boy. Gets together. Boy says he loves girl so he wants to have sex. Girl says ok. 
Done. Boy leaves girl. Girl begs boy. Begs boy to stay, only reason because her first night was with boy. Boy then cheats with another girl on girl. And boy leaves in the end. 

Girl's reactions.

Cry cry and cry. Depressed, turns to alcohol ciggs (maybe only, less chances) cuts herself. Hates herself. 
Being so self pity towards herself on social media. Tweets stuffs like I was blind I should die and many more.
And eventually turning yourself into another person and does all sorts of silly things etc.

Well it could have been handled more better..

I know its terrible, compared to situation A but that doesn't mean that one should engage in self harming. Or change. . Not worth it. Which girl wouldn't LEAVE for a guy who hurts her continuously? Physically or mentally. Who wouldn't? But there are girls who CHOOSE to STAY. Why? As she thinks back of the sweet stuffs he does she stays.. and suddenly BOOM as she remembers the part that HOW he cheated her for sex, claims he LOVES her (maybe at that point) and she breaks free. But part of her wants to stay cos she gave him something that is SOOOOOOOO worthy and important, her own chastity (better word for that v word aha). But girl, please don't. Like I said everyone has a moment of folly. At that point, yes you were right you were STUPID, DUMB, TOO TRUSTING, but that made you LEARNED on your MISTAKES and you would not REPEAT them AGAIN. So, you shouldn't suffer so much just because you think you are wrong. Yes you are but NOT as MUCH as that guy. Because in the end, if you die, he wouldn't even care somehow.. Think about your friends who care, your parents.. is it worth it?

Yes. So that's all for now I guess! And sorry but these are really things that happen around SG every single day at somewhere.. 

My last words are. 

Forgive but don't forget.

and rmb the quote, 

'' Everyone has a moment of folly, thus everyone deserves another chance, to start over. Whether is it yourself or not. '' - Rachel Jiang 

Holiday starts tmr im exciteeee . 


THANKS FOR READING , 





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