January 25, 2015

Oh hey! It has been 3 weeks since I actually blogged, what a busy year already!

I sense the urgency in like everything.. Oh well it's actually 12:22am now on the 21/01/2015. I'm blogging in the middle of the night ya... because I was busy with homework just now. I probably won't finish what I want to say and this post might be published on Friday. Because I'm really very busy ): In addition. O levels coursework started already. . So.. Busy girl is busy.

And yes, I was really happy and looking forward to this year as read from my previous post! Just two happenings in January that made me really happy!

Firstly, I received my cert for my Ngee Ann Mass Communications AEM. I got an A for it! Which means it will really help me a lot when I dpa for ngee ann poly!

And secondly, I scored a freaking A1 for my O level chinese paper. I actually had confident of getting A1, maybe it wasn't it was just a ''I want'' feeling. I didn't felt confident because of my oral -- the irony because it's my forte, however... during the exam the examiner asked me many questions during convo and actually prompted me.. which I felt that I didn't do well. Surprisingly, I got a distinction for oral as well. Including my papers, I finished on time and so.. composition was dramatic and long.. Well really happy! Because my MT teacher was like ''If Jps (My chinese name) can get A2 she can laugh secretly already.. (she also said this to another classmate of mine who loved to play... ) and in the end both of us got A1. And those she somehow expected, or thought so, did not. And so, the next decision, and question was ; ''To drop higher chinese or continue?''

I was pondering.. a lot. because having an A1 in my pocket already means good to me. I could just drop hmt and concentrate on other subjects. esp when I'm not gg to jc, I don't need hmt at all. But, I needed to have more paths and alternatives, and a backup. And so, I did the same for what I did during my decision of whether to drop amaths or not. I wrote on the paper, "drop hmt to focus on emaths'' and "don't drop for the dream you had 5 years ago" on the other.

-- the dream was; 5 years ago when I was in primary 4, I received my banding for my subjects combination in P5 & 6. My Chinese was superbly good, I got 91+ for my eoy exams. But guess what, no 4S1"H" in my paper.. only the 4S. I wondered, where was my H? My chinese teacher in fact told me that she looked forward to see me doing well in my hmt when I go to p5. Yet..  it was gone. And then my FT told me that the reason why my 1H was gone it was because my maths and science results were only ''just pass only marks'' so she thought I should concentrate on those subjects I'm weaker. At first, I wanted to appeal. Because those people who scored 60+ for chinese wanted to even appeal. Why shouldn't I? But in the end, I didn't. I chose to accept the decision. And I did better than most of those who appealed. In fact about 4 dropped to my class when they were P6 because they couldn't cope with higher mother tongue and they were failing. And so, happy me topped the class for my own chinese class as well. However in sec 1, I wanted hmt a lot. I went for the entry test, and I got in. With my own effort. -- That was why I didn't wanted to drop.

So in class, I picked a paper. And I got ''Drop hmt & focus on emaths". And, during my amaths decision, I actually picked, continue amaths don't drop. But I dropped. Irony right.. I actually always go against my decision. Which was why I thought, this method wouldn't work much.. So I decided to ask god. I said, if it rained. I'll stay. (It was scorching hot for the past few days and on that day it was so hot k!) The possibilities for rain were close to 0. Yet... When I left my classroom, went to ground floor, stepped out to the grass patch, IT WAS RAINING. Like seriously? Then when I left school, to nex then home, it did not rain AT ALL. In fact, the whole day no matter at what area, it didn't rain! It was only that period when I was in school. I was like wtf? I knew that was a decision. And so. I stayed. And I promised myself to work extremely hard. I am in fact, aiming for a distinction. No matter whether is it gonna be in my R4, I'll do my very very best.

My cert!

So yeap, that's the two stuff which really encourage to even do even more better for my studies and all. We all need motivation EVERYDAY

And yeah, from my title, changes. I realized there were changes as well. In sec 4, I have almost remedials everyday. And some of my friends are in different subject as me, so the days they have, I may not have. So the chances of us having lunch and all, is getting lesser and lesser. Sometimes is like when they ask, oh rachel you wanna have lunch at nex or so? I'll be like oh no I have remedial. 
But then again, I realized there were pros as well! Cons; that you can't meet much or talk much with them, or like shop. 

  • save $$ (since you don't eat out)
  • go home earlier (usually 5+/6 when w friends outside)
  • more time for homework
!!! Somehow it's better right? 

Then again, just a side note to some stuffs.. which I hope certain people can relate to, maybe. 

"definitely no more time for any bullshits. It is time to cast personal stuffs aside, time to WAKE UP. I It's like you are spending more time on other stuffs which are not AS important as your STUDIES like -- (stupid relationships; for some rlly yes, outside stuffs, things that you shouldn't be doing) Well, if at the end of the day, you don't get what you want you CAUSED the misery & suffering YOURSELF . There can be a million people who are linked to your suffering, but at the end of the day the sentence "Blame no one but yourself." still stays. One cannot have too many distractions. "You ought to know your priorities. No matter how much you have to get that thing or person, if it's yours it will always be, no matter when."

--#quotesbyrachelj Get that in your head!"

It is actually a message for me as well, in fact the quote was thought after I reflected. And yes, to me right now nothing is more important than my studies. 

In fact I have rejected to work for 3 shows already which is about 600$ of revenue lah, but to me money can be earned any time. But studies? It's really something you should do within that time frame of your teenage years, So.. yay for that! But definitely if  I'm free and bored I'll go lah haha. 

Anyway, just to share. Jan & Feb is really a very busy month for me already. Because I have so many things on, events in schools, competitions, practices, ccas. I am really tired. But then it's my last year already, I will do my best.. So here are some of the stuffs.

  • The many Co practices, sectionals. dazu. 
  • Orator's trophy competition on 7th feb @Acjc (which I'm rlly nervous)
  • Chinese New Year concert rehearsal for both CO & Emceeing for both language. 
  • F&N Coursework!!! ):
So yeap.. Happy at the same time because the amount of opportunities for me to speak in school is increasing this year! And yes, both languages! As for the competition, I'm on the verge of preparing. It's my last and I want it to be the best. It will definitely NOT be easy. In fact only the top schools like RI, HCI, RGS etc are attending.. My school is in fact the only one or two neighborhood school attending. Because it's really hard. But yeah, gaining experience and all is important ya. Who knows I may get into the semi or something! Otherwise then hopefully in poly I can join PESA again! As for F&N, the stress is real. So so so scared that I'll screw up. BUT I AM CONFIDENT OF DOING MY VERY BEST!

Right now it's 124am on the 25th of jan. I am officially done with this post yay! 

P/S: To that xx who tried to agitate me again, sorry you failed. And please learn your language in a more proficient way. Don't be a laughing stock, and oh google translate won't help either. 

Have a great week ahead! 

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